Showing posts with label funeral. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funeral. Show all posts

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Asian Sojourn 7: Life and Its Endings (Nepal’s Pashupatinath Temple) (travel of 12 Jul 2025)

Today’s post starts with a content warning (#CW); #Death, #cremation, end-of-life ceremonies.

It feels a little bit “Harold and Maude”; we went to Nepal and went to other people’s funerals. But it is evidently accepted practice, and is paired at the Pashupatinath Temple with the festival-like celebration of life that occurs on the other bank of the Bagmati River.

Still, some readers may choose to skip the rest of this entry, since I include images of the cremation fires, and that’s not to everyone’s taste.

Once we decided that the day’s adventure included watching end-of-life ceremonies in the evening (gates of the Temple open at 5p), the next question was how to get there. I am VERY grateful to my traveling companion, Nissa, that she’s a good sport, because “let’s walk” took us into parts of Kathmandu that probably don’t get a lot of tourist traffic. If any. Oh, there’s plenty of (regular) traffic, but it was rather seedy in places. I was glad I had boots for the broken concrete of the sidewalks, for instance. Still, there were moments that took our breath away. A stupa, and a crowded street:


When we got to the Hindu temple, we paid our NPR 1,000, but we also hired a guide. I’d recommend doing that, since he took us places I would NEVER have dared to go, fearing to intrude. Our guide kept up a running commentary about the Hindu belief system, the representations we were seeing, the kinds of events we would be seeing that evening, and the places we were within the temple complex. Be forewarned, though, those guides are on a timetable; it felt more akin to a slow jog than a tourist tour! Also, he asked for his tip in “our” currency, so have an appropriate bill in a ready-to-reach pocket. ($5 is considered adequate, $10 is generous. He was worth $10. By comparison, entry to the temple was about $7 USD.)

We did get a glimpse of the famous Nandi bull, a representation of Lord Shiva in animal guise. That’s the representation that gives the temple complex its name: Pashu = animal and Pati = lord, so Pashupatinath = Lord of the Animals. The more you know...

But the ceremonies of cremation were our principal concern, in part because I have a course I’m creating on music and death. So we observed with interest the several facets of the ceremony.

The mourning crowd waits on the bodies to be carried out to a spot down by the river. Here we are in anticipation – you can see the platform where the bodies will be put.


Do stop reading here if actual bodies make you uncomfortable.

For the rest of you…

The bodies are then carried on a stretcher, accompanied by a crowd, until they come to the appointed spot for the cremation fire. These platforms are covered so that the fires can burn even in monsoon season. (As of 2016, some cremations have adopted a new technology of electrical fire, saving on the cost of wood, but many families have chosen the traditional wood-burning method; see Hadders 2017 and Poudel and Uprety 2017). The platforms for the cremation proper are, like the greeting of the body, located by the river, and each platform becomes the center of a gathering of friends and relatives. (The cremation grounds are called the “Aryaghat,” a “ghat” being a flight of steps leading down to a river.)



Unlike Southern U.S. deaths I have attended, though, there’s no viewing of the face, just a wrapped body. Nor is the kind of dressing up to which I am accustomed; the crowd seemed to be a very come-as-you-are. Death is here seemingly represented as an occurrence of the middle of life, not as an exceptional ceremonial event.


The to-and-fro of people and the gathering of crowds are similar to funerals I’ve attended, but there seems to be less focus on the bereaved family, and more on the departed. That difference, I’ve learned, reflects a distinct understanding of what the ceremony is meant to achieve. Poudel and Uprety argue that “The prime purpose of the cremation is to depurate the dead body and free the soul from the body of the deceased ones to secure a safe journey to heaven.” The fire is cleansing, clearing the body of impurities, and allowing the spiritual cycle to progress.

What’s amazing is that across the river are the ceremonies which reinforce life. Singing and joyousness are acoustically juxtaposed with the murmurs of the cremation crowds, and the two ceremonies overlap, with death starting the evening and the music of celebration picking up closer to sundown. I'd share a video, but by that point my phone had decided that it wasn't going to cooperate, and somehow I didn't grab Nissa's videos before I left the country. Sadness.

Our stamina and crowd tolerance didn’t take us to the end of the evening’s events; we bowed out with about an hour left to go. And having walked there, we’d certainly finished our step count for the day, so we made our way to the taxi stand, and took a taxi home.

It was a solemn evening, but a profoundly moving one.

Having seen all of this firsthand, I couldn’t help but start asking questions -- the kind of questions that pull me out of “traveler mode” and straight into “researcher mode.” What does it mean to modernize something so steeped in ritual? Who decides when tradition gives way to technology?

If that sounds like the beginning of a mini-lecture, well… it kind of is. The next bit digs into some of the scholarship around cremation practices in Nepal and how modernization has reshaped them. It’s less “travel diary,” more “academic curiosity at work”—so fair warning if you came only for the story part.

WOOD OR ELECTRIC? TRADITION OR ENVIRONMENTALISM

After leaving the temple that evening, I found myself thinking not just about what we had seen, but about how these rituals adapt—or resist adaptation—in a changing world. The practices at Pashupatinath aren’t fixed like a fly in amber; they live at the intersection of faith, environment, and economics. The option of an indoor electric cremation is nowadays a choice that Nepalese families can make. There are several reasons that one might want this “modern” (and technological) solution to the cremation challenge. It is cheaper, a not insignificant consideration in a country with the high poverty levels of Nepal. It is also environmentally beneficial; the pressure of wood usage has degraded forest levels, and pushing particulate matter into the air is at odds with “clean air” regulations. In short, the electric crematorium represents both a practical and ecological response to modern pressures. Yet families often continue to prefer the traditional methods. Dal Bahadur Singtan found that “Resistive behavior of people due to cultural and religious attachment was found as the major problem for change” (Singtan 2014). This “resistance” is less about stubbornness than about meaning: cremation, here, is not merely disposal, but a final act of devotion, bound tightly to ideas of purity, release, and continuity.

Costs of cremation can be relatively high. Singtan lists a series of costs: “Rs. 200 for registration of a corpse, Rs. 400 per kg wood, and Rs. 1200 per Brahmin for cremation. Other expenditure would be in purchasing ghee, sugar, dried wood pieces, flowers, garlands etc…” He finds that a minimal ceremony – baseline costs -- would amount to around 6,000 Rs. per corpse (Singtan 2014, 39-40). Costs can be higher, of course; heads of state might be burned with sandalwood, but the corresponding budget puts such ceremonial enhancements far, far out of reach of the average household! In this way, even death participates in the hierarchies of everyday life. The questions of what one can afford, and what one must forego, shape how the sacred is enacted.

In their interview-based study of Nepalese participants’ choices in the modern (electric) cremation vs traditional (wood) cremation practices, Poudel and Uprety (2017) found that many participants make the choices they do because “respondents believe that significant number of tourists come to visit Pashupatinath temple to observe open pyre cremation process.” Here, tourism has become yet another layer in the story: the act of cremation, once private and familial, now carries a public and even performative dimension. The families see themselves as promoting local culture; performing a kind of cultural heritage in public is a tourist draw and a kind of public education, layering an outward-facing meaning onto a ceremony that is also inwardly beneficial. Families reported that they preferred the traditional method because “it increases the sense of belonging, identity and maintains the beauty of the performed rituals” (Poudel and Uprety, 2017). Seen this way, maintaining the open-pyre tradition is not simply resistance to change—it is also an affirmation of identity, a choice to be visibly and proudly part of a cultural continuum.

In all of this, what stands out is how layered the act of cremation at Pashupatinath has become—spiritual duty, ecological questions, an often emotionally fraught economic calculation, and cultural performance are all folded into one. Families choose between modern efficiency and traditional sanctity, and those choices reveal as much about identity as about practicality. To witness these rituals, then, is to glimpse not just the end of a life but the ongoing negotiation between faith and change, private grief and public meaning. It’s precisely this tension—between devotion and display—that has drawn scholars to situate Pashupatinath within another, more global frame.

DARK TOURISM:

Scholars, too, have turned their attention to this intersection of ritual, observation, and meaning. Kunwar et al. have argued that Pashupatinath might helpfully be more actively framed as part of the dark tourism industry. That term, dating back to the 1990s, encompasses “the presentation and consumption of real and commodified death and disaster sites.” (Foley and Lennon 1996). In this view, Pashupatinath is not just a sacred site but also a destination shaped by the gaze of those who come to witness death—tourists like us, whose presence inevitably changes the experience itself.

Kunwar and his colleagues suggest that, since tourists are shaped by what they see and seek, the temple might intentionally cultivate the spiritual dimension of that encounter. The act of watching, they propose, could “engage or trigger within their visitors some issue of social conscience, or … some shared emotion or an experience of involvement.” Learning, in this model, becomes potentially cathartic. That argument reframes spectatorship not as intrusion but as a possible form of empathy—an unsettling idea, but also a generous one.

They also acknowledge that some respondents would prefer to develop the site more holistically, emphasizing not just the cremation grounds but also the temple’s broader ecology of devotion—the Yogis, the Sadhus, the everyday flow of pilgrims. In that balance between ritual spectacle and spiritual depth lies the continuing tension of the site itself: how to honor what is sacred while accommodating what is seen.
Indeed, the framework of dark tourism itself has been challenged. Bowman and Pezzullo (2010), for instance, question the negative charge of the word “dark.” Must the curiosity that brings us to such places always be morbid? Or can it be a gesture of respect, even affirmation—a way of learning through witnessing? After all, macabre is in the eye of the beholder.

For us, that distinction felt personal rather than theoretical. We were curious, yes, but not morbidly grief-stricken. I did find myself thinking back to a family funeral a few months earlier, but not in an emotional way—more as a quiet comparison of practice and meaning. The scholar in me wanted to understand; the traveler in me wanted to bear witness. Nor was our curiosity meant to be intrusive. We had confirmed ahead of time—both through our guide and in the literature—that respectful observation by outsiders was not considered offensive. If seeing and understanding are done with care, then perhaps looking itself can become a form of cultural exchange.

And that brings me back to our end of evening. The music rising from across the river—the songs of the living—seemed to answer the smoke of the pyres in a kind of dialogue between presence and departure. That strong life-affirming and concertizing element served not just as a geographic counterpoint but as an emotional one, giving meaning to me personally for the evening as a whole. In the midst of life we are in death (Media vita in morte sumus), as the chant reminds us. But in the midst of death, Pashupatinath reminds us, we are also in life.

The evening left me thinking that perhaps what defines a culture is not how it celebrates life, but how it allows death to remain visible within it.


REFERENCES

  • Bowman, M. S. & Pezzullo, P. C. “What ‘s so ‘dark’ about ‘dark tourism’?: Death, tours and performance.” Tourist Studies, 9(3) (2010): 187-202.

  • Foley, M. & Lennon J. “JFK and dark tourism: A fascination with assassination.” International Journal of Heritage Studies, 2(4) (1996): 198–211.

  • Hadders, H. “Establishment of electric crematorium in Nepal: continuity, changes and challenges.” Mortality (2017): 1-16.

  • Kunwar, R. R., Homagain, B., & Karki, N. “Exploring the Prospective of Dark Tourism in Pashupatinath: A Hindu Pilgrimage Site, Nepal.” Journal of Tourism and Hospitality Education, 11 (2021): 93–127. https://doi.org/10.3126/jthe.v11i0.38248

  • Poudel, Rojisha, and Mina Devi Uprety. “Traditional and Modern Practices of Cremation: Significance and Challenges” [conference paper]. International Conference on Social Structure and Social Change, Pokhara, Nepal, 2017.

  • Singtan, Dal Bahadur. “Resistance to change in cremation practices in Pashupati area.” M.A. Thesis, Kathmandu University School of Education, 2014.

Sunday, April 20, 2025

Musical Presence and Funeral Choices

Image of a minor chord and a graveyard (at Shiloh)

Musical choices matter. They matter in life, and they matter in the rituals of death as well. They represent the person and that person’s values, choices, and (with luck) tastes. Funeral music, in particular, does more than fill silence; it becomes a final gesture, shaping how we remember and are remembered.

Having recently gone through the experience of choosing music for a family funeral myself, I know that those choices are constrained by the hosting institution, by the capacities of the performer, and by the sheer quantity of “absolutely not, I cannot abide that drivel” that abounds in the funeral industry. Tasteless pop pablum: not the way our dear-departed should be ushered out of the land of the living. We ultimately had a meaningful ceremony, though not without hitting discussions of option B, option C, and let’s circle back and see if option A will pass the minister’s attention. (It did.)

Happily, my husband and I have had our lists of “recommended listening” for our own funerals in a folder on a just-in-case basis. We should both revisit it; those lists are from long ago, and newer music has penetrated our awareness. But we did that work in uncertain times, and it’s nice to know that if a family member were faced with having to orchestrate a remembrance ceremony (heavens forfend), they’d have someplace to start.

These existence of such lists show a bit of where I come from: as a musicologist, the idea of remembering me through something musical is a meaningful offering – much like a shared favorite poem or the sunrise pictures that will give folks a taste of the additive joys of my life. So much beauty, here, have some, and savor what I loved.

But here’s what brought that admittedly macabre topic to mind: Brian Fairley in a recent Journal of Sonic Studies article talks about a 1967 Georgian funeral at which, well, I’ll let his words tell it:

As the casket of the singer and choirmaster Artem Erkomaishvili lay in state at the municipal theater in Ozurgeti, a reel-to-reel tape player clicked on:

Weep for me, brothers and friends, relatives and acquaintances. Only yesterday I talked with you, yet today my hour of death has come. And now I will go to that place where there is neither hypocrisy, sorrow, nor wailing, where the slave and master stand together. (Erkomaishvili 1980: 17)

The voice was Erkomaishvili’s own, reciting a portion of the Orthodox Christian rite for the dead.

The singer had recorded the “Rite of Mourning” for his own funeral, using multiple tape recorders to overdub the three-part chants himself. He had also requested a performance by the Gordela ensemble as well. “Hey, there’s this group I’d like to sing” is one level of control. But “Hey, I’ve made a single-occasion sound recording for my funeral? That’s a level of involvement in the end-of-life ceremony that frankly had never occurred to me. It was a moment as a reader that I stopped cold. Wait, what?

But as I’ve pondered this incident, I’ve come to realize that it’s not so strange. At Sally A’s funeral, for instance, there was a performance of an arrangement she’d written of a song she’d loved. Or wait, was it a recording of her actually singing? The details now blur, but I remember the moment of poignancy – her hands, her mind, her musical choices shaping what we, gathered to celebrate her life, had shared together in community.

And we are becoming familiar with posthumous “holographic” tours – Tupac Shakur at Coachella (2012); Roy Orbison’s In Dreams: Roy Orbison in Concert (2018); “The Bizarre World of Frank Zappa” tour (2019); and the Whitney Houston tour (2020-2022), described by its promoters as “the most awe-inspiring and immersive live theatrical concert experience ever.” Yes, “live theatrical concert” of a dead person. I get it: the music lives on.

To be honest, such holographic recreations remind me of the glitz of the whole “immersive Van Gogh” media extravaganza; digitized and mediated remembrances of something that at its core once mattered to us, now repackaged and aggrandized as commercial re-imaginings with high sales potential (and juicy ticket costs).

But these things speak together as well of the nature of music as a path to remembrance. For music lingers. It resonates in the unswept corners of memory and in the silences that follow loss. Whether it’s a congregation joining in a well-worn hymn, a voice echoing from an old reel-to-reel, or a digitally-animated likeness on stage, music allows us to summon the presence of the departed – sometimes tenderly, sometimes theatrically, but always powerfully.

In that way, funeral music is more than background. It offers structure, offering shape to grief. It is a connecting gesture, extending a hand to the mourners. And it gives voice – sometimes literally – to the dead by giving them a final say in how they wish to be remembered.

As technologies evolve and expectations shift, so too do the multitudinous ways we humans craft sonic presence in rituals of parting. What remains constant is our human need to hear, to remember, and to let music speak where words might falter.

So write your description. Compile that playlist. Or even make that recording, if you wish. Choose with care. Because someday, someone will press play – and in that moment, you’ll be present, shaping new memories.

WORKS CONSULTED

“An Evening with Whitney: The Whitney Houston Hologram Tour” [website]: https://www.whitneyhouston.com/tour/an-evening-with-whitney-the-whitney-houston-hologram-tour/

Fairley, Brian. “Singing at Your Own Funeral: Overdubbed Intimacy and the Persistence of Tradition in Soviet Georgia.” Journal of Sonic Studies 27 (2025): https://www.researchcatalogue.net/view/3509747/3509748

Special call-out to Brian Fairley, who makes a complex argument in his “Singing at Your Own Funeral” – about socio-political contexts for musical recordings in 20thc Soviet Georgia, about the role of family stories as historical documents, about the nature of the heroic and learned singer, and of the nature, importance, and sometimes impermanence of technology. You should definitely read the whole thing!

Grow, Cory. “‘Bizarre World of Frank Zappa’ Hologram Tour Not So Bizarre After All.” Rolling Stone, April 25, 2019, https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-live-reviews/frank-zappa-hologram-tour-review-827195/

Matthews, Justin, and Angelique Nairn. “Holograms and AI can bring performers back from the dead – but will the fans keep buying it?” The Conversation, June 1, 2023, https://theconversation.com/holograms-and-ai-can-bring-performers-back-from-the-dead-but-will-the-fans-keep-buying-it-202431.

Carving the Nativity in 1520

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